DIMITRI SURIEL

Ma's Tostones Eases My Sorrows

Home to me is wherever my mom is, something always feels right when I'm with her, whether I’m visiting or she's with me, visiting other people or whatever it is, it just feels right. It just feels natural to be with my mom. Some may say that our mothers are our first homes when we're in the womb, we’re one with our moms. So wherever she is, I just feel one with her. I just feel like that's my mom. That’s my home. The closest thing to that, if I’m not with my mom, is food. Growing up, she cooked for us, of course. Whenever I'm away and I'm feeling a little lonely or I just miss my mom, I try to eat something that she used to make for us, something cultural or something unique to whatever dish she made. When you combine those two with my mom cooking for me as an adult, it just makes me feel good. It makes me feel better, whatever it maybe, whether I'm talking with her about my life or I'm just feeling heavy about life. Whenever my mom cooks for me, I just feel lighter.  My favorite dish that she always makes because it’s fast to make, is tostones. Whenever I come by, she prepares it and she serves me a dish of tostones and again, I feel lighter. I just feel good that my mom is able to do that for me and she still cares that I eat.  So that's what the piece is about. The photo is a moment of my mom making me tostones, and the poem is me trying to put it into language of how I feel. Whenever my mom does cook for me, it's like she's magical. She just grabs whatever I'm feeling, whatever it is, whatever it is. If I'm stressed, she just does something where she cooks it. She grabs it from me and she cooks it. She fries it, she smashes it, and she serves me a plate of tostones and I feel good when I leave. Like she takes it from me. 

I added the piece of the actual plantain strips into the picture, because I wanted to add an element to it, of life, but also those strips are eventually going to fade away. They’re going to rot and it's a reminder for me that those memories I have, those experiences I'm going to share with my mom now, eventually she's not going to be here. So let me cherish that moment because who knows when that day may come? Who knows? It's sad to think about it, but it's the same way as those plantain strips, slowly dying, as you can see within the picture, within the frame. That every day we're all slowly dying and all our loved ones. I know that sounds dark, but it's true. It makes you appreciate the life and the memories we do share and experiences we can have in the present moment. So, the piece is a finite piece. I don't know how it's going to look once those plantain strips rot. But before they do enjoy it, while they do enjoy it, and after they do, we still have to enjoy it. That's the piece. Ma’s tostones eases my sorrows.